Beat

I was up at 5 this morning and sweating well by 5:40. Gotta love working out before work while everyone else sleeps and hits snooze.

There was a publisher meeting, followed by driving back to the office with the boss, more work, more questions, some emailing with Daily Editor and so on. Then it was to the bakery to pick up dessert for bub's grandfather who turned 97 today. Then it was off for some shopping and to dinner. We finished by visiting Gramps at home and tasting some of the yummy lemon squares I picked out.

And tomorrow night I am told will be my bachelorette party. I'm really looking forward to it because from what I sort of know, some people near and dear to my heart will attend--and all the other cool biatches that I'd want to be there.

Of course, I am saddened by my friends in Florida, Cali, and Arizona who cannot make it--you know who you are.

More to come! Goodnight.

This is the life

Summer is here. It seems that everyone knows it.

I have a bunch of sun burns smothered sporadically around my ankles, calf, chest, left arm, and right elbow. The sun bit me; but the beach was worth it.

I'm enjoying my weekend so far.

I've got an iced French vanilla coffee sweating next to me on the desk. The laundry is cranking away. I'm procrastinating just a little longer on cleaning the bathroom. We've already hit up Trader Joe's for groceries--even got some wine for my parents when we see them later at their Cape place. The sun is trying it's hardest to push through the clouds; the humidity is in full force. The windows are wide open, people strutting about in shorts, tanks, and sandals. All is good.

And I'm thinking of the band again.

When we were at Trader Joe's and got out of the car. The smell of tar burning in the parking lot from the intense summer (almost summer) sun reminded me of band camp days. We stood lined up on the white parking borders that keep cars in check. We count, line up, and do it all over again. We yell and if we don't yell loud enough we have to do it again.

"Eyes with pride" is our motto--and it's drilled into our minds every practicing moment. The entire band community has memorized the pride words. Even the University of Delaware's marching band director uses it for her group--since she is an alumnus of UMass and our band.

Last night at J's wedding (which was very lovely, by the way), we saw some fellow band alumni. Not as many as the last wedding we attended, but enough faces who we didn't see at the previous nuptuals affair. And instead of only saying hello and catching up, we discussed how quickly the time has flown; four years ago we were all so engrossed with one another because we saw each other every day. Not in class or at the DC (dining commons)--but at practice, [too] early at games, on the field, out of town on a bus, at a rest stop, on a gym floor (because this is where we slept during away games/shows). It amazes me how connected we are. We all think we're tied to our home town because we grew up there and have roots. But thinking back to your class from high school or even college doesn't put things into perspective as much as this 350-person band does. And it's not the same feeling as thinking okay, these people graduated with me. No, it's these people who endured the hellish, cultish ways of the band--we ended our summer early, we didn't have "real" weekends. And for what? A quick half-time show--a 2-hour long post game affair...exhibition events...inaugural parades...

Maybe it was the cheering we enjoyed. We felt on top of the world because this was as close to fame as we could get.

The thing is, even with our complaints about band and what it was and still is, I haven't found anyone who has regretted their having been involved in something so demanding. In something so geeky.

Anyway, I don't know how to end this post but I need to.

Prince is now performing.

I never liked him.

Not even when he was the artist formerly known as Prince.

Idol

So I've got the show on both TVs as bub is out doing better things with his evening.

I think Taylor will win.

But I want Catherine to win.

But I don't think she will.

But I'm not sure either one of them is good enough.

See, I wanted Chris to win. Hotness aside, he just rocks. But since he's probably going to be Fuel's next lead singer, I guess it's okay that he was booted.

Anyway.

I always cry at the finale of the show. When the confetti flies and the backup singers come out (especially when Fantasia won), that is a real major tear jerker for me. And it's not that I wanted them to win (I personally don't think Fantasia was really talented; I was more moved by the gospel singers), it's just this like epiphany for these average people who compete all this time for this major turn of events.

So the show is almost over and I've cried twice. Once when just the guy finalists sang. And definitely when Eliott sang and Mary J. Blige came out. She really knows how to rock.

So we'll see who wins tonight. And even if it's the person I don't want to win, I'll still appreciate the confetti.

Ring True

The end of my day yesterday was not how I had planned.

I hadn't planned on receiving an e-mail, the second one within 24 hours from my ex-college roommate (and ex-best friend) who hasn't tried to contact me in four years.

I hadn't planned on staying at work until 6:30, well because, I had done so on Friday and I thought staying until 6:00 was long enough. But when a top publisher calls you wanting to do business, you stay. You listen, you hear them out.

Then there was the grocery store to pick up avocadoes and milk. Avocadoes to go with our Mexican theme last night and milk, well, because we needed it! But I had picked the worst line to get into. The man ahead of me apologized profusely as his cashier stood there looking bored and a bit nervous; his manager walked s l o w l y back to the register. Apparently the guy had a coupon and it wasn't rung in right. Go figure. It's now 7:45, and I'm home. But it isn't until I'm 1/2 done blabbing about my day's trials and tribulations when bub says the mail's on the turtle tank.

I'm like what? And I see the box.

Our wedding rings. The very piece of jewelry that we'll wear until death do us part. I couldn't finish my story. I've been waiting to try mine on for so long since we were at the jeweler. It took us a while to figure out what to have bub's engraved with. Since mine is an eternity band, I can't engrave anything on it, but that's just fine with me. I don't need my ring to say anything I don't already know.

So we put them on and marveled at what it "looks like" to be wed. I checked out the engraving on his and I tried mine on with and without my engagement ring.

Perfect. Just like my guy.

Fun for Friday

Thanks to Daily Editor for starting the listing of things.

Here's why I like Fridays:

1. Because if you stroll in a few minutes late to work, no one thinks twice.
2. Because it's the last day of the work week you have to set your alarm.
3. Because everyone wears jeans and is in good spirits.
4. Because everyone laughs a little easier and does a little less work.
5. Because at 5:00pm, it's not happy hour, it's happy weekend.

Here's why I like the rain:

1. It makes staying in bed a little longer more enticing.
2. It's the best time to watch films.
3. It's a great time for baking brownies.
4. It's a good reason to be lazy indoors.
5. It doesn't cause sunburns.

And if you think you know me, you may not:

1. I don't have a middle name.
2. I drink my coffee black or with skim milk only.
3. I hate tuna fish.
4. I love seafood.
5. I was a band geek for 8 years, complete with band camp.
6. I want to open a bakery.
7. I got rejected from all three law schools I applied to.
8. I'm getting married in 10 weeks.
9. I know alot of French terms.
10. I'm going to lose a syllable when I change my last name.
11. I feel like since I've graduate college, my writing is weaker and my mind is mushier.
12. I like to procrastinate.

Am I the only person in the world who doesn't have a routine?

I'm not talking about a work routine--yes, I do get up every morning, shower, get to work, leave, eat dinner, etc. But I mean, I don't have a groove. My gym habit is askew. My errand running doesn't run like clockwork.

The weekends are a complete mess. I love to sleep in, yet I feel better getting up early and getting things done.

I went on and on in another post about the mediums of my life, yet I can't find a happy medium when it comes to my routine, my groove, my life. It's frustrating and I end up carrying around quite a bit of guilt.

For example, last weekend I had adventurous plans to clean the bathroom and kitchen all the while organizing the fun shower gifts given to me just the week before.

Boxes and bows remain; it looks like we're getting ready to move out!

I make lists and lists and lists. I cross a very few things off and then I make a fresh list and I feel like the same old things get written down. It sucks. I hate it. I need a routine class. Someone needs to organize my life--not my underwear drawer or my desktop, but I need someone to take a look at the daily/weekly/monthly things I have to do and tell me what the best plan is.

That's it, I need a plan!

And I feel like I'm getting alot done lately on the wedding front. But with it comes the guilt of not doing things like having fresh laundry so that I don't have to wear a bathing suit bottom to work the next day. Yes, I still do that occasionally, but shhh, don't tell anyone! : )

I fell in love again...

I was alone in the dressing room with my brand new gown--my first time unzipping it, slipping it on, and twirling around. I was more than excited; I had the fluttery heart thing going on. Then I started feeling sad. So much fun wearing a beautiful piece of clothing--for only one day of of life.

It's Friday and with it come good moods in the office, people whizzing about in their shiny cars, smiles on their faces--it's the weekend! It's even more glorious when the sun shines. I am happy that I can share in the warm weather bliss that is well on its way. We are only thawing with spring, but it's summer that I long the most.

Happy Day!

I'm home.

So I just got home from GSM also known as our Global Sales Meeting. It was my first one and it being almost my first year anniversary of having worked for this particular company, I was meeting the spread out sales team for the first time together in one place. Faces were new; I definitely felt like the new girl--nervous, anxious, quiet. Well not too quiet b/c after meeting the first new face, I found out that he was the guy who likes to email me daily to find out the timeline for this book his client is looking for. Not just any client: a major corporation. Of course, due to the public nature of these things I'm afraid I can't share more.

The meeting moves around annually, but this year it was in Providence. I relived some college drinking moments last night. How pathetic, but certainly bonded with new and old faces. The old ones being those from corporate who I see on a regular basis.

So I had a good experience and learned alot about the sales process. And I was happy to feel the reiteration of not being someone who has to sell X amount of anything to get paid! Thank goodness. But my job is sort of salesy and sort of legal and sort of publishing. And after receiving an award at our dinner last night--not only was I pleasantly surprised, I was touched. And it wasn't the fact that they spelled my name wrong--one too many letters and not a typo--and it wasn't my snickering work buddy's remark that everyone gets one of these awards at one time or another--it was the fact that I finally felt for the first time in my life at a job--that I was recognized.

And it feels great.

Highlights

I swear the weekend days go by faster than work days b/c hours have less minutes on a Saturday and Sunday.

I started off the weekend with a trim of the hair and learned that my new fabulous haircutter (stylist, hairdresser, etc.) can and will travel to wherever we get ready for the big day when I say "I do." This followed by a fabulous dinner with friends and an extremely productive meeting with the florist (I now know what flowers I am carrying!) brought me up through Saturday afternoon (a.k.a. 1/2 the weekend flying by!) Last night was more low-key and today we managed a few other wedding details...and we now have a ring bearer, so a sigh of relief not having to go back and forth on this decision any further...

We're also slowly addicted to attending open houses again. We managed to squeeze in two today, which is more than what we have been doing as of late...and it's not the recent break in's that's made us scurry for a new pad...but it's the making house, the decorating, the space, the future (read: children...) that has us spinning our wheels looking for a yard, good schools, a porch, walk-in closets, easy commuting and so forth. We are living in a dream world since we're only looking in pricey locations, but we refuse to settle to settle. And our little home now isn't shameful. But I feel like we're growing--growing our lives more closely together in a marriage and in our future as husband and wife. And call me materialistic if we're thinking a nice bathroom and tidy kitchen will make us happier--we know it won't. But it's the excitement of "home sweet home" it's beyond moving in together. It's our married residence, it's our house to raise a family (not right away)...and it's yet another thing that we have to look forward to. Me and Bub. I am so excited!

Why is there etiquette if people don't know the rules anyway?

Planning a wedding really teaches you a great many things. Aside from the obvious: save money, plan ahead, and have fun with it, but don't go too overboard with the planning--does one really need 100 white doves released at the conclusion of the ceremony? Or a chocolate fountain for fondue dessert? There are many things you learn about your family and your family to be--and maybe even your friends.

Example number one: Ecstatic parents who want to parade around their children at the wedding, forgetting that it's not a dog show, but a wedding. If the save the date or more important, the invitation, is not addressed to "The _____ Family" or doesn't list the children's names on the envelope--they are NOT invited. It was NOT an oversight on the bride and groom's end to omit these names. We simply didn't FORGET to put their names down, especially when the bride HANDwrote each and every save the date envelope.

Example number two: I don't have one yet, but there's time.

So in closing, why is there etiquetee if people are going to be ignorant, selfish, and self-centered? You really bring out the bridezilla in me!

So far...

So far 26 is off to a regular start. Same start as 25 did and maybe even 24. My old license officially expired so now my paper one reminds me of just having received my permit or first official license. I get 2 new licenses this year: the new one since the old expired and the new married status one--I'll have to have a new picture taken because I might look different as a Mrs. Whoa.

So tonight it's bowling. A group of friends, my sister, and of course my bub are off to eat pizza and bowl our little hearts out. My friend said "Oh, how cute--pizza and bowling, it's like a little kid's party." This is true, but the beer shall make it an adult time.

I'm glad that I have these little parties in honor of my birthday. It's not a chance to squeeze people for gifts--that doesn't matter! It's a chance to see these people, especially those I don't see often enough, and appreciate how blessed I am, how blessed I feel.

But we should all feel blessed because it's Friday!

The last day of 25

So it's either PMS or whatever but this week has been rocky: mood swings, bad attitude, negativity, that dark cloud which follows you. I was embarrassed at work for trying to be sneaky with a contract and the publisher called me out on it and I played the cowardly role of "I only administer contracts, not write them." I was pathetic.

But it all ends today.

It's my last day of the quarter-century year. Granted I'm not yet 30, but I am feeling the aging process clearly. Not only are the wrinkles around my eyes present (they've been there a while), but I'm constantly thinking about when I used to be...a college student...way back in...high school...when I was just a...kid...no job...play was work...and friends were the only people I had to call back. Nevermind taxes, paychecks, car payments, and groceries. No cooking dinners, preparing lunch, running to keep in shape.

I'm in a rut and tomorrow is like my next New Year's Day. New resolutions, new start, fresh beginnings. Except I can't shake the funk. So I get facials, I write, I read, and I think. And I feel like the longer I've been out of school, the dumber I'm getting. Am I the only one who feels this way?

So tomorrow it is: the big 2-6. The big tradition: a meal out with the fam and the fiance. Friday is the friends party--the adult version of the one mom would organize all of your closest friends to attend and eat cake while opening pretty boxes.

Easter is around the corner, spring is definitely here and the breath of fresh air is most definitely needed. It's time to shed the winter doldrums for good. To turn it around. God I sound like Oprah on a motivation day.

I just feel like I'm talking more about what I should be doing than doing. I hate procrastination; it's a curse. It's time to stop hating though. It's time for a new year.

Happy Birthday to me!

Once the weekend wrapped up, I was upset about something the past couple of days. It finally died down today, thank goodness--thanks to some therapy from an acquaintance. I think getting sleep helps. And that's something I haven't been easily able to achieve.

I now feel unsafe in our home b/c of the break-ins. I feel violated, which isn't abnormal, but now I have to sleep farthest from the bedroom door now so that if a thief came into the condo and went into the bedroom, they'd find bub first, not me. Not that I want him hurt--I'd gladly protect him, but see--he's much stronger than I. I hope the sprinkling of readers reading this doesn't think I'm trying to let my fiance be attacked first. Really I'm not. I just happen to need to act like a 12-year old and be afraid of what monsters--real as they are--may be on the way to get me. I'm also so paranoid that when bub leaves for work, I have to turn around every 2 seconds to look at the door of the condo while I blow dry my hair so as to make sure I can spot an intruder. What will I do when they arrive at my door with a crow bar in hand--or maybe a gun? Um, I dunno. I'll keep you posted.

Warm pressure.

Warm, damp, moist pressure.

My face is cleansed. The steam starts.

The kneading begins. Pressure points are identified.

My last facial was a little over a year ago since I was sure I would become an addict if I continued with the overpriced service. However, for the way you feel coming out of these things, overpriced is not a fair word.

Beatrice has been the only one who has tended to my face, neck, shoulders, even my feet, with utmost care. She is a lovely person--knowledgable, healthy, and focused on her work. She gives me advice all the while making my complexion all the more glowing.

I scheduled my next one for May. After all, I do have to look my best for the wedding, right?

Someone broke into 3 condos/apartments on our floor, right next to our place some time today. They left the apartment diagonally across from ours' rug in the stairwell door, to keep it propped open and if you peep around the corner into the stairwell, you see boxes of jewelry flung all over. Two out of the three doors had gouges (sp?) in them and when the owners came home (as we stood uncomfortably in the hall when they started swearing and gasping and crying and cursing some more), they opened the doors, jewelry on the floor aside, the only other noticeable item (apart from noticing things missing) was the fact that He-Man himself must have been on our floor because the incredible locks that everyone thinks and feels are the most safest--they were on the floor, ripped out, bent, torn, cut open, you get the picture.

Me? I'm OK; a bit scared, rather worried. And thinking, will they be back? Will they kill to get what they want? And, of course, which loser let a thief(s) into the building since you have to buzz anyone in without a key?

Fuck you thief asshole(s)!!!!!!!!!!

I just bought a cell phone online. I did the old "upgrade" thing so my phone was free and it's being shipped to me free. Now I would have thought to go to the store and actually purchase one to take home with me on the same day, but the thing is, the last time I did that, I had a 13 year old throw a phone at me and move on to another customer. Now me being a non-techie, I left the store not even knowing how to answer the thing when it rang. But was I going to ask teenage mutant phone boy for help and an explanation? No way. I slipped out of the store and drove away to ringing and my almost swerving off the road pressing buttons everywhere. Yeah, and it does only take one button to answer the thing, but it was all new and colorful; I was truly confused!

So today, I made a semi-hasty decision. It all started with a pesky flashing pop-up ad for a phone through my carrier--but that's not the phone I got. After much surfing online at work (yikes and oops), here I am. Free phone, free shipping.

Now all I need is a new charger.

Happy pre-weekend!

P.S.

Thanks to a friend, I'm going to look into a pastry chef program. After hearing about someone else's dream job as a pastry chef at Canyon Ranch (yes, the fabulous spa)--not only am I jealous, but this is something I dream about! OK, not the Canyon Ranch part, but opening my very own little dessert heaven. Isn't that just a perfect name in and of itself??

Sigh.

Part II: Oatmeal Things

No, I didn't manage to forget anything important from the recipe, so it should work well for you if you do decide to make these. My only comment is that you shouldn't leave them out all night to cool because in the morning you'll be so inclined to have at least one or two for breakfast. Catch my drift? So now I'm punishing myself by not eating a proper breakfast and shall eat a boring lunch to make up for my irresponsibility of eating cookies at breakfast. And I get mad at Bub for doing such things and look at me. I'm a hypocrite now.

I'm at work sipping on my french vanilla iced coffee with skim milk and wishing that i had packed cookies with me for a lunchtime snack. Shame on me. These are guilty thoughts! These are terrible thoughts. On top of that I hurt my back at the gym on Saturday and it hurts. And so I didn't go to the gym yesterday or today making me just feel like I'm gaining cellulite inch by cellulite inch second after second.

Someone stop me.