Victory is Sweet

No more curse talk. We won plain and simple.

And please, no A-Rod next year.

The Next Step

We've done it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We put in an offer, negotiated, and agreed on a price.

Our inspection takes place on Halloween.

It's happening.

And we even know which room will be the nursery for that Next Step.

It will be bittersweet to move from here, the home we made our own and learned to love together.

Although I helped with the painting (or thought I did), it was Bub's home first. He did all the heavy hitting with being Mr. Homeowner. I remember the phone calls as I listened to the drama that came with the negotiations. I remember listening to the home inspector, and I remember as I sat quietly at the closing. I've always felt that it was my home from day one, but this is different. This new home will be our first house.

This is me being a grown up.

When did I become one?!!!

Hi, this will be brief

I woke up with my period today. I feel ugh and I'm having a Mocha Madness from Honey Dew and I just KNOW I'm going to get a stomach ache because I happen to have an extra-sensitive stomach during this unpleasant time of the month and that blended with milk products? Notsogreat. Molly knows about this and so does Daily Editor. For DE, she may have to think back to the one-way street and Bread & Circus incident to trigger the memory. Ahem, moving on.

So, the weather and the need for some caffeine? A very important thing since hi, Red Sox! And hi, late staying up for me is difficult since hi, I go to bed early like a granny, or try to.

I cannot believe it's November next week. The month of Thanksgiving! We made travel arrangements last night to see Bub's family. It's all coming up so fast. I was shocked to see the holiday catalogs arriving already...I'm already wondering what I can wear to holiday parties...hmmm....

I have a lot of work to do today which could mean staying late, but not too late since hi, it's that thing called the WORLD SERIES and although we seriously crushed the Colorado peeps last night, I don't think we're going to get off so easy. I just don't.

So if you'll excuse me, I have to go be a good employee now (yeah right).

GO SOX! GO ORTIZ!

P.S. The house? Some of you know the dealio as of now... Fingers crossed!

The Private Moment

I went there at lunch.

I was still shocked at the number of minutes it took me. Once the corporate backyard melted away, autumn lingered with its playful summer temps. How so many long for it to say goodbye, to leave with us the crisp air that matches the colors on the leaves.

They swirled around as I became familiar with the roads. They reminded me of Amherst.

Maybe it was the sloppiness of the trees, leaving their bits all over, or maybe it was the winding roads that used to carry me back to school each autumn and then home again to remember where it all started for me.

And I turned past what I thought was our future. On its corner with its landscape for children, its Halloween lights on. No one was home...

It was the private moment I discovered just beyond there on the next street that made me pause and wonder.

He sat on the porch and looked older than I imagined. Was he looking at an album? He must have brought it because the house is empty.

Did he know the man who parks his truck nearby?

Did he see me and feel pressured that he must let go? That there was someone else watching, wanting the memories he would soon leave there?

He can take them with him.

There are new ones to make.

Friday in Four

1. We are putting an offer in on a house today; wish us luck! This could be it!



2. Yesterday was my *Friday* as I am off today.



3. I am preparing to return to the place where I laughed so hard it hurt, made so many special friends, learned to love a new part of the state, and read and wrote to my heart's content and more. It's Homecoming, and autumn is most beautiful here...






4. The Red Sox will keep it alive for another game tomorrow. Here's to another win!



Have a great weekend!

Death Comes In Threes

I believe it.

Three weeks ago, my mother's cousin's husband passed away. It was very sad in that my mom's cousin and her husband loved each other so much and he was too young to let life go. A cancer victim, we first learned about his illness months prior to our wedding and his first treatment was actually the day before the wedding. They attended and put their happiest faces on. And for that I am grateful, but I wish I could have done something to make it all better for him, for her, for them.

Last Monday, as I packed my clothes and toiletries away for the Frankfurt whirlwind, I saw an urgent message from management to jump on a call in less than 15 minutes. My first reaction is that we bought another company and they were officially announcing the news. No, one of our colleagues who I hadn't spoken to more than a few times in his year or so of working at the company passed away. It wasn't sudden as he, too, was sick with cancer. I heard he was having other health troubles and went on disability. He never made it out of the hospital after recently being admitted, but his wife was hopeful as she was told her husband would be able to go home soon. When she left to make preparations at their home, he took a turn for the worse.

And on Monday of this week, as I battled jet lag and the fact that I was back at work after working through the weekend, Bub emailed me that a close friend's father has passed away. Again, to cancer. He'll go to the funeral and memorial services out of state this weekend.

I didn't want to believe that death comes in threes, but they do. They have. And it sucks.

Hi, Nutella? It's Me, Ripe.

One of the reasons I like the hotel we stay at in Frankfurt each year is for its breakfast. After having been to Italy, I can say the breakfast doesn't hold a candle to what one could eat over there, but I digress because it beats any runny eggs and crispy fat continental breakfast.

Mini croissants - warm
Granola - with cocoa bits
Cheese - soft, perfect for breakfast sandwiches
Meats - to make with said cheese sandwiches

Nutella - in jelly-sized packets

How I love thee.

I bring home a few each time I go there not because I didn't know I could buy Nutella in the grocery store (we should all know that!), but because it's heaven on wheels. Heaven on wheels! Got that? And it's the perfect little size so as to feel like you're not being a heif-heif by consuming it.

Before I left for the trip I was not eating much as I had been so busy at work (note: still busy) and because I was sick of eating crap.

Cue to the wine and beer and wine and champagne and fat-induced breakfasts that I consumed on a daily basis while away. Add to that the obligatory desserts and fabulous ice cream they sell at each of the exits of the convention center.

Hello, I'm Fatso, nice to meet you.

Now that I'm back, my clock is f-ed up. Up at 4:30 yesterday morning, up at 5:30 this morning and I feel that I should have already had my quiche Lorraine or caprese sandwich after my croissants with Nutella. In other words, I feel ready for lunch! But no, at 10:24am I'm eating peanut butter with a fork (already had the rest of my Nutella packet on toast when I woke up) and a banana and a latte...

I'm on the way to Fatsville and I want to turn back.

Please help!

I'm back...

Did you miss me? Tell me so!

and i am here

as in germany, the land of the precise and the land of perfect and clean and methodical

and the keyboard screws me up so dont expect punctuation or good spelling

at

all

my sleep comes in dribs and drabs and the u know who is challenging

yes, that is a good way to put it

i thought being peer pressured into drinking was something we did in high school

there is so much this event makes me think about...what i know...what i want to learn...how what i am doing is so relevent to the industry, yet it is short something

something i will find out

not necessarily with a class, degree, baby, or new job

somewhere in between the lines it will appear

my epiphany

for now there are the contacts i have learned and become friends with who hug and kiss me and i must remember the one, the challenging one, who acquainted me with all of this.

and for that i will be grateful and grin and bear it and get up early tomorrow to do it again

god, i miss my husband

how do long distance peeps do it?

ok, me sleepy time now

peace

Tomorrow I'll be in another country...

But I hope to post at least once while I'm away. This all depends on the Internet, my exhaustion level, and the abilitiy to privately and safely write here...

Wish me luck that my bag arrives safely (my luck with lost/delayed bags is horrible) and that I don't kill the you-know-who.

And drop by here to wish Mrs. Sass all the best; she just got married! Whee!

Have a great week all.

Bub, I'll miss you, but you know that.

Mind Poo

So I have to say I'm sorry that I've been lame at posting this week, but work has been kicking my butt. So in honor of it being Friday--yay--I feel compelled to write now--while I have a moment at work (shhh, don't tell anyone!)...

First, I just have to say that sometimes I love anonymity. One of my contacts at company we closely work with is someone I've never met in person. So when I was making plans for Germany next week and thought maybe we could meet and get caught up on business there, I was told that he doesn't get to travel to those events, much less leave the state of NY where he resides (and works). And he's like, and I won't be coming to Boston any time soon since I'm a YANKEES fan. He may as well have told me I was fat for the way in which he said it was like a slap in the face! Then he laughed and so did I and that's when I said something to the extent of "The Yankees are going down...so watch out!"

That brings us to today with more banter--an obscenely large Yankees logo taking up space in an email much about nothing was sent to me. So I decided that even though there was no update on our latest agreement that we've been toying back and forth with through legal for months, that I would send a little email his way, throwing in his face that the loss against the Indians was u-g-l-y (you don't need no alibi, you ugly, you UGLY!)...

And so we just had a nice chuckle on the phone now. In your face, Yank pants!

Moving on.

Bub is away this weekend and there's a good chance I won't see him prior to leaving for Frankfurt. Sigh. He's off to Maine for a kayaking trip with his friends as one of them is getting married in the spring and this is his bachelor party. I'm going to miss him, but there's lots of laundry and cleaning and packing and shopping (!) to do before I leave so I'll keep myself busy with that. My parents offered to come over and check out the new kitchen renovations, too.

Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze Bub goodbye once more before I go. Otherwise, I'll be counting down the days to when I see him. I know, I'm a sap. But it gets hard when you're in a routine and then you all of a sudden don't see your best friend for a long time! A week is a long time!

Finally, the last update is that I started my very first online class. I was skeptical about it and still am, but I wanted to write and be pushed and get my mind moving again, wiping the cobwebs away with homework and lectures and stuff. So last night I had to write and it was hard. And I sat in front of a screen for a while typing and deleting and typing. And I put it out there.

I posted my weaknesses and shared my downfalls, but hopefully there's a hidden gem in there somewhere. Hopefully something worked and someone will release me of my insecurities or help me through the process so that I can once again feel like a strong writer and someone who can feel that she knows what she is doing. Because there's been a lot of not knowing lately.

Go Red Sox!

Go Big Papi!

A zit has decided to perch itself on my jawline and it's soooo bothering me. I think once you've survived high school, one should never ever have to deal with these things. And it hurts : (

This weekend I won't be thinking all about how I have to get up at the ass-crack of dawn for a train to take me to NY. That is quite nice, I must say.

This weekend is the last full weekend Bub and I will spend together before mid-October. Gross, I know. He has a bachelor party next weekend and the day he returns I leave for Germany. There should be a law about things like this, but for the first time ever, I think, I'm actually looking forward to the trip.

It is grueling, tiring, exhausting, nerve-wracking, and utterly difficult to spend so much time within the confines of an ultra-large convention center for which you must take a bus to get from one hall to the next, but the time spent in close confines with your, ahem, colleague also makes it trying. And then there's the whole working through Saturday and not arriving home and into the arms of your bub until Sunday afternoon which makes it all the more depressing.

But the Europeans? They know about work. Sure, the smoke clouds you have to cut through as you walk in your super cute outfits while everyone is bustling around isn't glam or nose-friendly, but the drinking which commences as early as say, 10am, or the cocktail parties and treats being passed out at the conclusion of each day are always something to look forward to. I mean, how many times have you gone to a meeting and been asked for coffee or water? Here they ask if white or red suffices or perhaps some fizzy water! How adventurous! And you bet I don't think twice about what to drink while ordering in front of the colleague. No way. This is work, people. And it all comes with the package.

Surely there are other fun things to do besides looking forward to the drinks of choice at this event. Yes, sure. The breakfast at our hotel is TDF. The mini baked goods, samplings of meat and cheeses, and then there's the jelly-sized nutellas that I always scoop up in hopes of having some leftover to bring home.

So now you know that food and drink both excite me...ha.

Then there's the little market outside of the convention center which has many kiosks of crafts made by the locals. I haven't been fortunate to find something here before when I've shopped, but goodness, that's because I have my colleague in tote, distracting me from concentrating on all that is glorious.

Finally, there is this feeling of independence and "I did it" while riding the train alone in Germany. This, "this is my job", feeling. And "I can do anything" emotion. And it feels good. Or perhaps it felt good because I was buzzed at the time and sitting quietly trying to make myself feel better about riding the train alone on a Saturday night while the rest of the world celebrated the end of a work week by, well, not working. But I digress...

So all the work that happens between the TDF breakfast and the drinks and sporadic parties? Well, that's something to feel good about. Important about. Everyone is excited to share what is new and forthcoming and wonderful. And although I often wish I was on the other side of the meeting table sharing the wealth of information I have, the grass is always greener on the other side, now isn't it?

Now only if I were solving problems like world peace or something, then I'd be all set.

Happy Friday, peeps.
+++P.S. Is anyone watching this? If so, thoughts??

Not sure how to feel

I had my review today. That annual thing where you say things about yourself and how great you are in hopes of promotion-ville or raise-ville or fantastic feedback-ville.

After my first review here, I got a raise, but it was a surprise; I expected nothing as I have been in positions where, if you do not get a promotion, you get little or nothing. I expected the latter, but instead I got double the "norm" or whatever that is.

Double.

I was psyched.

And so now as I near my 2.5 tenure here, I waited for something similar. I mean, who knew what the review would bring. I got the juicy raise last year, the office this summer, I was sort of on an up and up.

I got solid feedback and I was reminded of things I did that I forgot I did--and they were good things.

But I left without anything to feel great about--no additional moolah, no promotion, nada.

One thing about where I am in a position is the growth that comes with it. I have grown here, but I'm always looking for the next milestone to reach. And although they hardly (outside of my direct report) promote others, I can't help but wonder what the turning point will be for me here.

What is next?

And I find myself saying that alot lately with not just work, but with my life's path.

I've never been one to plan...I just sort of followed. And I know that's not very creative, but I mean, I went to college because it's expected and it was the right thing to do--at least for me. And then I found my first job, which was what you were supposed to do after you graduated (unless you went to school, but publishing doesn't require it, so there you go), and then I got married to my husband because when you find your love, that's what you do--you don't let them go! And so then you're where I am...at this crossroads where you are the person who has to decide what's next because there is no more flow--I mean, the flow can happen in any number of ways.

Am I beating a dead horse here?

Anyway, all of the above aside, I will leave you with this question:

Where does one find inexpensive, but fun accessories/jewelry? I'm talking a red-beaded necklace or something of the sort? I'm in need of fun items like these. Similar to the Mint Julep's of the world (or the 2 that are in MA)...

Bostonians, speak up! Or else, point me to any good sites for online shopping!

Merci beaucoup!

Tired

I survived the 3:45am wakeup call yesterday, the meetings, the presentation, the boss.

I am still tired.

I prepare now for the 40+ meetings in Germany in less than 2 weeks.

I returned to the office to learn that the one dead mouse they found in a closet adjacent to my office had friends; additional mice carcasses were discovered.

I'm glad I wasn't here for that. I am here, however, for a lingering smell...

We finally painted our kitchen this weekend. It's not quite finished. It's almost done and then there's laundry and cleaning and switching and switching back summer to fall to summer clothes. What is up with the temps?

There has been mulling over of babies, reading of articles about how women are forced to decide between career or baby or both or what? And then there's the whole when you're 27, your fertility decreases. I'm officially old and almost 27 1/2.

Some of you Internets make me feel old in your 24 and earlier ages. What happened to the time?

I know I'm being slightly melodramatic and I know that I'm not old...yet...but I feel it. Planning out things like having babies is serious. I take it seriously. I don't understand how one plunges into this. How does one plunge?

Sex, I can understand, plunging, I cannot.

It's Gabriel

There, I confessed it.

Moving on.

I'm exhausted. Today was so busy with all those meetings I said would eat up my day. And I feel like I can't be 100% psyched for the weekend because come Monday morning, my ass will be up at 4am, not to go to the gym, not to get to work early, but to board a train that will haul my ass to NYC for meetings--more meetings--all day. And my last meeting? Won't end until after 4pm, which means, yay, that will suck. And I don't and can't and won't elaborate that much more except I tried to take my chances with a train ride to NYC instead of flying because I'm so sick of the delays and the pain in the ass that going to the airport is. But seriously, our first meeting requires me to get on the earliest possible train in the history of ever. So I'll be arriving one hour and fifteen minutes early for the first meeting because if I don't plan ahead and be on time which I hardly ever am, I'll most likely be late seeing as how the next train, which would require my being up at a mere hour later--5am, gets me to NY fifteen minutes earlier than when my meeting starts.

Bored yet? I am. Tired yet? I am.

Ugh. Anyone up for caffeine suckage downage at 8am in NY on Monday morning?

Thought so.

Happy almost weekend.

Short 'n Sweet

I'm sipping on a nonfat pumpkin spice latte...

I'm having thoughts about going shopping after work (shocker) in that this week has been torture trying to figure out how not to freeze my buns in the office (hello, it's freezing) and because it is very close to fall, and I should no longer be milking my warm-weather wardrobe.

I went through my casual tops and I seem to have 2 black, 2 green, 2 white/very light, long sleeve numbers and a couple of borderline spring long sleevers-too. How exciting, huh?

I have either summery or wintery cardigans and the new sweater I bought is definitely too warm for now.

So yes, now that I feel good in the shoe department (and I am wearing these today, for the second day in a row, because I love them so much and because they are comfortable which is a hard thing to come by in shoes), I need to concentrate on the stuff that will cover up my underwear while in the office.

The office has been quiet because my boss has been out since Monday. Tomorrow she returns and we have too many meetings planned. More than I usually have in a month. OK, maybe that's exaggerating the facts, but it's a lot and they're practically back to back. And dammit, I was productive this morning and it seems to be waning, my drive, hence the post.

En route to my trip to the bucks that is star for this latte, I called my friend who just had a baby boy. I heard him in the background. I heard her talking about diapers and c-sections, and dialation. I heard her speak the gooey baby talk to this baby whose name I'm fairly sure I'm not a fan of. But I would never ever ever tell her because she is my friend and she doesn't need my opinion about what she named her first born child. And she doesn't read this blog (or so I hope), so I think it's safe to say that.

Anyway, I got a mommy pang while listening to all of this baby talk from her, and that's all I am gonna say about it.

More later.

Weekend Roundup

I left work early on Friday because the boss did and my mind was fried. We decided to walk away from the house I wrote about here. We decided that it's too expensive to chase, but being that it's a divorce situation, we know they must get rid of it and have no other offers on the table. Perhaps it will drop in cost, but for now, we'll continue to enjoy our condo.

I got a manicure just before going to pick up Bub at the train station. When I collected my husband, we went straight to a wine tasting where we were meeting my family to support the organization my sister volunteers at. The organization has to do with animals. The event was held in a hall. The event smelled like animals, namely cat litter.

We left after some tasting and stopped at a local Mexican place for some late dinner before some TV and then bed.

Saturday was consumed by cleaning. Cleaning the new kitchen counters and sink we just had installed. Cleaning the inside and outside of cabinets and reorganizing every item including the 6 boxes of cous cous we didn't know we had.

Bub was a laundry superstar. I had on my sexy plastic gloves for toilet and tub scrubbing pleasure.

Then it was off to 3 grocery stores in search of manicotti squares in order to make dinner for my friend who was visiting from DC.

No one sells damn maincotti, so lasagne was made instead. Bub thought it might be weird since it was a manicotti recipe for which I was making lasagne. I reminded him that manicotti and lasagne are booth NOODLE dishes. It would be OK.

It was OK--in fact, it was delish.

No lasagne leftovers remain.

Yesterday we went to the "Natick Collection" to see the first Nordstrom of Massachusetts. I bought shoes which I am wearing today. And they are glorious. Bub got a new suit. He is just the most handsome man ever in a suit.

We were exhausted after battling the cars and crowds at the newly renovated "collection" (mall!) and headed home. Some more TV and some more cleaning completed the evening. I finally got my Harry Potter books from Amazon and got back to reading where I had left off when I borrowed book 2 on the Cape several weeks ago.

I'm now writing this with 34 emails to follow up on and a bazillion things to do. You can see where my priorities lie. I also have the door shut, my space heater on, and I'm contemplating looking on the Starbucks Web site to pick out a new drink to go get at lunch to keep warm.

Any suggestions? I'm tired of lattes.

Ahhh, Mondays.

Emotionally Exhausted for a Friday

Thank goodness 1/2 this work day is over! I am spent and so is Bub.

We found a house we both really, really like. We can see ourselves and our phantom family living there.

I have become borderline obsessed.

Bub has been doing and redoing and doing again (only to do again) our numbers. We've budgeted every item down to the expensive shampo0 and waxing appointments.

Being a grownup sucks.

We may have to walk away from this one. It could be the right thing to do financially when you already have a mortgage to pay and all the other bills that come with this thing called your life.

But what ever happened to that line your teachers, your parents, your friends, and even those bumper stickers said when you were in predicaments like this?

Where there's a will, there's a way.

Let there be a way.

I've begun...

I've started my fall shopping and I'm looking for inspiration. My first purchase? A Michael Kors flowy, black, top with subtle detail. Perfect to dress up or down; I shall be taking it on my trip to Germany in four short weeks.

Yesterday, I purchased these:

I was looking for something different than my usual flats and I'm hoping (since I haven't yet tried them on) that they won't let me down. They're by Frye, a brand I had't yet encountered.

For some reason finding clothes for the warmer months is easier than finding outfits for the colder weather. Maybe it's the layering and, therefore, the need to have more clothing, but I feel like my cute summer look goes to blah once the leaves change.

Making the annual trek to Frankfurt each autumn is a good reason to shop since everyone who attends the work event wears to-die-for ensembles. Even their hosiery is impressive.

Why, then, can't shopping be my full-time job?

And I just remembered that the black top wasn't my first purchase at all. I have a blue cardigan on the way that I completely forgot about!