I'm searching deep inside of myself right now. To find the place that comes so easily for you fellow blogmates. The kind of words I'm looking for have been missing for some time. And I'm afraid one wrong move and Bub will catch me and ask what I'm writing about and I won't know because that thing I learned about, that stream of consciousness will dissipate and I won't even have time to look up and be sure that I spelled dissipate correctly. So far, so good--not about the spelling but about Bub not questioning me yet.

Fuck. I had a really good song on and now it's changed so I changed it and now I'm back to where I was pre-post.

Ugh.

More later.