20 August 2006

I congratulated myself on Friday for at least two things.

First being that I told my boss I had jury duty (and I did) but made no mention that if I wasn't picked to serve that I would attempt to make it into the office.

When they released us at 11:00am that morning, I felt guilty for one moment after I heard someone who had also been in my jury pool call who I believe to be a colleague and say that they'll be able to make that conference call after all.

I felt guilty.

But then I snapped out of it. I mean, after all, this was my first jury duty experience and I needed to reflect on it the rest of the day.

The second item I congratulated myself on was appreciating the finer things. This all boils down--currently--to my career and the turn that it took a little over a year ago. To sum it up quickly and as painlessly as possible, it lacks creativity and moisture. So in turn that means it's on the boring side and it's dry. Yes, I know. A bad analogy, but give me a break, especially since we're a mere few hours away from the Monday morning blues.

So as I walked down Congress Street towards my husband's office (boy, do I sound grown up or what?? Husband!), and before I ran into him randomly as he stepped out to go to the bank, I took in the fact that I miss "the energy". Actually, when describing this feeling of excitement, sadness (I used to work in the greater Boston area), and yearning to work in the hustle and bustle of the city, it was my friend who said that she knew what I meant. That the city has this energy. And she nailed it dead on.

So I congratulated myself for taking in all the simple items of the city that I once took for granted for a mere 7 months: the especially windy air, the random people who chant "Let's go Red Sox" when you're not even near Fenway. The charged business people who are psyched that it's the weekend and gather in clusters to grab lunch, cure their hangovers, or maybe even start happy hour early. I visited H&M and DSW because at my job you can't walk to anything except for a Dunkin Donuts which happens to lie on a 2-lane highway nearby.

And the question in my head still persists: How come I can't work in Boston? How come I can't start my own thing? How come I'm at a job I'm not enjoying completely?

Lately, I feel like I've been in great spirits. I just married my best friend, I just had a most fantastic honeymoon, it's still summer and I don't dislike the fall, but will miss the warm temps, I'm starting over in a way with a new name, with new goals as a married 26-year old woman. Then there's the big BUT...and many goals to follow. One is that I make too many excuses as to why I do not accomplish things. This could be from exercising to cleaning to calling up my aunt who always calls me first. But I'm not sure I have a good excuse for not doing my own "thing"...whatever that is, I guess I should start to figure out. Because right now, I have no other plan B. I have no excuse.

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