So it's either PMS or whatever but this week has been rocky: mood swings, bad attitude, negativity, that dark cloud which follows you. I was embarrassed at work for trying to be sneaky with a contract and the publisher called me out on it and I played the cowardly role of "I only administer contracts, not write them." I was pathetic.
But it all ends today.
It's my last day of the quarter-century year. Granted I'm not yet 30, but I am feeling the aging process clearly. Not only are the wrinkles around my eyes present (they've been there a while), but I'm constantly thinking about when I used to be...a college student...way back in...high school...when I was just a...kid...no job...play was work...and friends were the only people I had to call back. Nevermind taxes, paychecks, car payments, and groceries. No cooking dinners, preparing lunch, running to keep in shape.
I'm in a rut and tomorrow is like my next New Year's Day. New resolutions, new start, fresh beginnings. Except I can't shake the funk. So I get facials, I write, I read, and I think. And I feel like the longer I've been out of school, the dumber I'm getting. Am I the only one who feels this way?
So tomorrow it is: the big 2-6. The big tradition: a meal out with the fam and the fiance. Friday is the friends party--the adult version of the one mom would organize all of your closest friends to attend and eat cake while opening pretty boxes.
Easter is around the corner, spring is definitely here and the breath of fresh air is most definitely needed. It's time to shed the winter doldrums for good. To turn it around. God I sound like Oprah on a motivation day.
I just feel like I'm talking more about what I should be doing than doing. I hate procrastination; it's a curse. It's time to stop hating though. It's time for a new year.
Happy Birthday to me!