Someone broke into 3 condos/apartments on our floor, right next to our place some time today. They left the apartment diagonally across from ours' rug in the stairwell door, to keep it propped open and if you peep around the corner into the stairwell, you see boxes of jewelry flung all over. Two out of the three doors had gouges (sp?) in them and when the owners came home (as we stood uncomfortably in the hall when they started swearing and gasping and crying and cursing some more), they opened the doors, jewelry on the floor aside, the only other noticeable item (apart from noticing things missing) was the fact that He-Man himself must have been on our floor because the incredible locks that everyone thinks and feels are the most safest--they were on the floor, ripped out, bent, torn, cut open, you get the picture.

Me? I'm OK; a bit scared, rather worried. And thinking, will they be back? Will they kill to get what they want? And, of course, which loser let a thief(s) into the building since you have to buzz anyone in without a key?

Fuck you thief asshole(s)!!!!!!!!!!

I just bought a cell phone online. I did the old "upgrade" thing so my phone was free and it's being shipped to me free. Now I would have thought to go to the store and actually purchase one to take home with me on the same day, but the thing is, the last time I did that, I had a 13 year old throw a phone at me and move on to another customer. Now me being a non-techie, I left the store not even knowing how to answer the thing when it rang. But was I going to ask teenage mutant phone boy for help and an explanation? No way. I slipped out of the store and drove away to ringing and my almost swerving off the road pressing buttons everywhere. Yeah, and it does only take one button to answer the thing, but it was all new and colorful; I was truly confused!

So today, I made a semi-hasty decision. It all started with a pesky flashing pop-up ad for a phone through my carrier--but that's not the phone I got. After much surfing online at work (yikes and oops), here I am. Free phone, free shipping.

Now all I need is a new charger.

Happy pre-weekend!

P.S.

Thanks to a friend, I'm going to look into a pastry chef program. After hearing about someone else's dream job as a pastry chef at Canyon Ranch (yes, the fabulous spa)--not only am I jealous, but this is something I dream about! OK, not the Canyon Ranch part, but opening my very own little dessert heaven. Isn't that just a perfect name in and of itself??

Sigh.

Part II: Oatmeal Things

No, I didn't manage to forget anything important from the recipe, so it should work well for you if you do decide to make these. My only comment is that you shouldn't leave them out all night to cool because in the morning you'll be so inclined to have at least one or two for breakfast. Catch my drift? So now I'm punishing myself by not eating a proper breakfast and shall eat a boring lunch to make up for my irresponsibility of eating cookies at breakfast. And I get mad at Bub for doing such things and look at me. I'm a hypocrite now.

I'm at work sipping on my french vanilla iced coffee with skim milk and wishing that i had packed cookies with me for a lunchtime snack. Shame on me. These are guilty thoughts! These are terrible thoughts. On top of that I hurt my back at the gym on Saturday and it hurts. And so I didn't go to the gym yesterday or today making me just feel like I'm gaining cellulite inch by cellulite inch second after second.

Someone stop me.

Oatmeal Things

So this is my favorite cookie recipe. And I just made them tonight for the zillionth time ever. I know the recipe by heart and even though they're (ahem) not good for you, this recipe was modified from the original to be healthier (if you can believe it)!

Thanks to my mom for introducing me to this little cookie heaven :)

Oatmeal Things!

Over medium heat melt 1 stick of butter or margerine in a medium pan of your liking.
As the butter melts, mix in 1/2 cup skim milk (or whole milk or whatever milk you enjoy from the cows).
Add 1 teaspoon of vanilla.
To that add 1.5 cups of sugar.
Mix in 5 tablespoons of UNSWEETENED cocoa.
Stir everything well, and do so over medium heat until mixture bubbles and boils. At this time, prepare a measuring cup(s) with 3 cups of INSTANT Quaker Oats (my measuring cup only goes up to 2 cups, hence the plural form of "cup"). The non-instant oats are an awkward texture for these cookies, I find, by the way.

Don't forget about your boiling mixture!

Constantly stir the mixture over medium heat as it bubbles and boils for a total of 6 minutes.
Remove from heat after 6 minutes and add oats, stirring aggressively.
If mixture is dry, add a splash of your milk of preference--but not too much!
Drop by spoonfuls onto wax paper.
ENJOY! :)

P.S. Do not make these often if you are trying to fit into a wedding dress :)

a few bits

No.1 So I have some stomach issues today. I think I have a bug. Sure I had two beers last night, and probably too close to my bedtime, but I've never suffered from drinking immediately before bed as I'm usually sleepy. But I woke nauseous and after a little English muffin, I wasn't sure I could make it in to work this morning. Alas, I'm here and doing semi-okay.

No.2 What is the craze about My Space? I've heard about it too much and I'm slightly annoyed to be out of the loop. Someone please share what all the fuss is about.

No.3 I've decided my dream job would be to open a cupcake bakery. I'm ashamed to admit it as it's the latest craze; there was an entire piece about cupcakes and their new popularity on the news the other day. The piece sparked an idea that cupcakes can be used to my advantage in certain wedding planning. But loyal readers, let me put your mind to ease: it will not in any way replace the wedding cake. I don't want you to think I'm copying another poster...if you catch my drift!

No.4 Lastly, I'd like to wrap up this brief post (I am at work, after all) with an update about a broken friendship. We haven't communicated in a good 4 years. From another friend I learn that this individual recently contacted her. They don't talk often and when they do it's brief and bittersweet. The girl just about fell off the planet and wished for no one that she knew as a friend to be in her life. Her moving many miles away assisted in this wish. So now, she claims that her "head is now screwed on" and she's ready to make contact. This friend gave me a clock that says something about being forever friends. Right. She (as cliche as it sounds) was like a sister to me. Apparently she has decided to contact me, I've learned from the mutual friend. I haven't held a grudge lately since I've tried, through the years, to contact her at work, by phone, and through email. People change and forget to tell one another, I know, but recently, when this individual learned of my engagement through the mutual friend, the subject was changed, and the moment was more bitter than sweet. This time was not too long ago, when the mutual friend informed said individual of such news. So I'm not sure how screwed on said head is. I'm not saying I need this ex-friend to feel joy for me or happiness. But caring an ounce might be nice. Or caring about my welfare alone would be decent.

Bub says I should be the bigger person and contact her. But it's not about being the bigger person here, it's about a faded friendship and the lack of effort I know I exude. And it's me finally being okay with letting her go. Although I did at one point seek to send her a save the date for the wedding. A failed attempt.

Girls can be so difficult. And so can I.

Blog Neglect

I'm sorry to my one or two loyal readers for not having written in so long. The thing is, I'm currently at work with stuff up to my ears, but that doesn't discourage me from wedding planning from my desk. Sigh.

My space bar has something underneath it so it's QUITE loud. Here are few items to keep everyone updated and then I'll write more later.

1. London was much fun--very busy, tired, cranky to have to work only 2.5 days after arriving, but hey, a free trip to another country is a gift in and of itself.
2. I think I liked Paris better.
3. I made it to the gym this morning. That's right, me and a couple sleepy souls were up at the ass-crack doing the elliptical.
4. I had a dream (the one right before I woke up to drive the dark streets to my gym) where I had to give a speech on the fly after having my name picked out of a hat. The audience was huge. The topic: pride--but not just pride as in, it's good to be proud, pride as in "eyes with pride" as in, my motto from marching band. Apparently I dream like a dork.
5. Natasha Bettingfield's UNWRITTEN came on in my dream. I heard it a total of THREE times BEFORE I made it to work. At the gym, I got on the elliptical right in front of the movie screen (3 screens: one on news, one on VH1, and one is a movie). Cake was on. Was amused by that chick who is on Grey's Anatomy...but the lead actress--not remembering her name--had to give a speech--on a whim. Do we think that my dream and what is going to "happen" to me today is a fortune teller or something?
6. We're closer to booking our honeymoon on the Amalfi Coast. If I told you how much I think it's going to land us in debt, I might cry.
7. I'm in the process of picking music for the ceremony. This makes things all the more real.
8. Last night I watched a complete stranger's wedding video--ceremony only--and then watched a complete stranger's reception--two different married couples--a long ass video--and I was teary-eyed.
9. I feel like a bridezilla. I'm somewhat stressed, trying hard to enjoy this, and am certainly having fun. Sure, it is definitely a blissful time. However, when the planning has consumed my life, when I'm embarrassed that I have nothing else to say aside from "We registered for luggage!" or "I think I found the bridesmaids' jewelry" I feel sort of silly. Shouldn't I be doing other stuff too??
10. Someone recently told me that I'm lucky. Not only that I'm planning what should be one of the best moments of my life, but in general to have found someone. That's when I feel like I can release the bridezilla. Shed the attitude, stress, and realize that there are many more important things than whether or not Sally is upset that she can't bring Bobby and Suzie to the wedding since it's a NIGHT wedding, ending late, and it's not at a hotel with babysitters and such. And that I feel guilty that people will get upset about something--maybe everything.
11. Weddings cost alot! Ahem, I can't get into how much pieces of paper are these days (that would be the invitation)...
12. Lastly, I don't want to be negative during what is a very hectic and exciting time. So I've decided instead of bridezilla, I'm just going to be me.

I'm baaack

And I have lots to say, but I'm tired. For goodness sakes, I'm still on London time and it's 3:04 a.m.!

LBF

I leave for London this time tomorrow. It hasn't hit me yet b/c of the neverending pile of work I have and will continue to have before and after the trip. Oh, and I get to work on the trip too. But I can't complain b/c if it wasn't for work, I wouldn't get to go to neat places like this.

Best part is that I'm kidnapping my Bub and I'm taking him with me across the pond...

See you Wednesday!

UMass

So my post's title isn't so original, but screw that. We left early yesterday morning to do the commute I used to know quite well. This was my first go-around in the new car and I must say, I was a little more relaxed in my traveling to western MA knowing that my car could make it with energy to spare.

The commute became ever more implanted in my brain my sophomore year when my parents allowed me to bring my old car to school (R.I.P.). But it wasn't until my senior year that I left permanent tire scars on the road in all the last minute weeknight/weekend and for-no-reason trips to and from my Bub's old house. And needless to say, my first "real" job which most would refer to as their "first real job out of college" I actually started in April for fear of my not ever having an opportunity like that when I graduated at the end of May that same year. So for two days a week I hauled my ass at the crack of dawn to report to work so I could sort through slush and all sorts of other mismanaged bullshit. But anyway, that's not the purpose of my post.

Anyway, we arrive, hit Antonio's--best pizza ever people. Best frigging stuff in the state, at least. Anyway, we had limited time with the weather so after a quick bite and a shower at the hotel, we were off to see the lovely Mann get married. She was stunning. But the folks who attended the wedding, some I hadn't seen in ages. And as I mentioned in another post, I feel as though the band and the sorority, that those things were the backbone to many friendships, but it wasn't until I left that I realized who would keep in touch. But I didn't realize that the people who I *should have* been friends with b/c they were in the band and whatnot but wasn't close to, would now be the people I would realize were cool people to begin with and the band and being around them 24/7 wasn't necessarily going to make me understand that they should now be friends.

So before we left for home, we had a little "car tour" of the campus. Bub pulled over so that I could walk over to my freshman dorm. The wind was whipping like crazy--no change from when I was there almost 8 years ago (wow)...I stood in the concrete "courtyard" and I watched as students scurried to and from buildings and dining halls.

I envy them.

No z's for me

I can't sleep and I tried to about an hour and a half ago. But all I could think of was the wedding:

Did I do the right thing by inviting those few people I want to attend from work?
Am I addressing the Save the Dates properly--will I be judged by the stamp, card stock, typeface, colors, and the very handwriting--sometimes crooked and definitely not perfect?
Am I including my parents in on enough of the decisions?
Will people have fun?
Will it be sunny?
Will I have regrets?
How am I going to afford a fantastic honeymoon?
Will I survive the withdrawls after it's over?

A new last name, a lifetime responsibility; 'new' family; expectations. This is truly grown-up, even for me.

I'm a little stressed.

Now for some water and hopefully a few z's. And I wanted to get up at 5 for the gym!

Setting the record straight--for myself

So I'm bothered by something I wrote in my other post "Old"--and if I had patience and a brain, I'd know how to link "Old"--so work with me and just pretend that it links to the nice post by said name.

So the part where I wrote about Thanksgiving. Well I just want to write aloud that I'm not merely thankful that I have someone, I am thankful I am with the person that I am and for THAT I am thankful. I'm not thankful for the idea that I 'm attached/engaged, etc., although that's all fine and good, but it's that I'm with bub--this specific person--that makes my world go round.

OK--back to work!

Top Dog

How cute is he? Congrats! Rufus wins Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club.

Old

A few years ago, I stood waiting for a bus to take me from the Campus Center stop to town.

It was freezing out and I stood with my friend. We huddled together and would always remember the Valentine's Day we froze our asses off trying to get to a place where warm liquid would coat our throats with a sweet, thick, satisfying taste.

I don't know why I remember this day. It was almost eight years ago. When I think how long ago it was, I really do feel old. I hate referencing how old I feel these days because it seems that everyone does it, but truly, I have felt much older lately and my birthday hasn't just passed me by, either.

Back to my Valentine's Day memory. There's nothing more to tell really, except for the fact that I was single. And when I hear someone say that they're alone and that they're going to be an old maid, I say nothing. I want to say: I've been there. But I feel it's too harsh to say aloud to the person who clearly feels and fears being alone always. But you see, before my bub, I was very much alone.

Yes, I had the dates here and there--but the moments with those people fizzled before anything really substantial could amount. My Valentine's Days were puffed up with hope that whatever "love" I had would remain for days or weeks after. Or, there wasn't a "love" in sight. No flowers, no candy. And instead of moping about it on that particular day, the singledom, the emptiness, it carried itself next to me always.

As much as I wanted to NOT be the girl who yearned to be with someone, as much as I didn't want to be pathetic about the fact that I had no boyfriend, society makes us feel underpriveleged when we're not attached, when there is no significant and other.

So my Valentine's Day is more like Thanksgiving. Sure, the flowers, the card, the sentiment, it's nice. The ring, even nicer. But what happens after July, what happens when I think back to when I had only myself to be responsible for, I think how simple things could be. And how young I was.

Rejection #2 has arrived.

Remember: 3 strikes and you're out.

So the A/C is on here. I have a little over 1/2 hour with plenty to do here at the office. Yet the blowing cold air during the winter months--I'm not digging it.

I went to a bachelorette party on Sat. night. I have mixed feelings about the ordeal. It started with a spa trip, which is always a treat for me. Even if it was just to get my nails done, which it was, I'm totally into the whole body pampering experience.

Next we ate dinner and attended a "party" and then finished the evening off at a bar.

It's the people I need to comment on, those who attended the party. My friend is a fellow UMASSer, someone who I'd like to think I can keep in touch with and be blunt with for a long time to come. Her sisters attended and are in the wedding, so they did all of the coordinating of the evening. Very cool and fun chicks. Aside from one person, all the other ladies were fellow UMASSers. I hadn't seen them in a long while. A few years or more, to be exact. I couldn't help but think that these were people who I spent long bus rides with, had classes with, saw at least 6 days of each week. We practiced together, pledged together, gossiped about one another--but one common thread ran amongst us: alcohol. It was the drinking, the partying, the socializing while drunk aspect that allowed me to be friendly with these people. So when it came down to going to this bar on Saturday night, though there were awkward moments of silence earlier in the evening with the generic "How ARE you?" questions with the fake emphasis on "ARE"--I realized that it was the drinking that made the friendships real.

Tales from an alcoholic? I don't think so. Pathetic friends? No... I think it was just me being young and me being naive and me regretting not finding something else besides a party to use as a connection, as a friendship with these people. And I'm really not sure how I feel about it all. With some of them, I saw the remaining connection. But I felt like someone looking in. Something that was. I think I've moved on. And though I feel that these friendships were built on forced relationships of "sisterhood" and band friends, I wonder if I'll ever find those same friendship bonds, those safe friendships again in my life but in a different capacity.

My fingers are numb. The A/C continues to churn.

It Doesn't Hurt--Yet

Rejection #1 has arrived.
We went out to dinner to celebrate.
I think I'm in denial. Otherwise, something is definitely messed up.

List

Here's a list of shit I've been doing/working on since I last wrote in my blog:

Seeing horrible wedding bands
Avoiding the gym like a dirty tissue
Drinking wine as I guilt myself about eating and drinking bad things
Poking around on the Weight Watchers site
Reading A Million Little Pieces
Figuring out text for our "Save the Dates"
Scheduling cake tastings (more guilt for not going to the gym enough)
Sitting on my butt
Trying to weigh the pros and cons of having a videographer at the wedding
Figuring out what flowers go with sky and smokey blue
Avoiding the long list of addenda I must draft for too many publishers
Learning about jobs that I'd be qualified for if I moved to Hoboken
Learning about our new humidifier
Figuring out how the hell to invite people from work to the wedding--should I?
Procrastinating on sending in the last law application

Humps

So, instead of changing the station on my XM radio today, I decided to keep on this song which I usually find quite annoying. But after a long day--and an even more exhausting week--I actually enjoyed hearing some of the lyrics. Not that I find the song pretty or quality listening at all, but just have a read:

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

Now, if everyone can imagine those little lumps--they really aren't so lovely. At least mine aren't.

Cross

Sorry for those of you that are offended by this. But really, if you live/hang out with your S.O. ALL the time, is it really necessary to blow off others so that you can spend MORE time with them?

If you live with them, if you sleep with them, if you see them more than 6 times a week, if not at least 2 times a day, perhaps you should try hanging out with someone you haven't seen in, oh, YEARS.

Thanks for listening.